Hogwarts: The Chatroom
by Scolander
Summary: What happens when Hogwarts finds an online chatroom? What happens when people start to confess their love? What happens when Boo Radley leaves the chatroom? Who knows? I don't! XD AVPM AND AVPS QUOTES INCLUDED! I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS!
1. Chapter 1

:: I do NOT own HP or any of the characters used here.

HP (C) J.K. Rowling :D ::

Hogwarts: The Chatroom

**Boy-Who-Lived **Harry Potter, **Bookworm1234** Hermione Granger, **Red-HeadWonder** Ron Weasley, **Gin&Tonic **Ginny Weasley, **HeirOfSlytherin **Tom Riddle, **TheDarkLord **Voldemort (A/N: I know he is Tom Riddle but deal with it, I wanna have them both in this, OK?), **LittleD** Draco Malfoy**, BigD **Dumbledore, **YourMama** Umbridge**, PsychicT **Sybill Trelawney, **ButtTrumpet **Severus Snape, **Werewolf **Remus Lupin, **JamesPottersBestFriend **Sirius Black, **Wormtail **Peter Pettigrew (duh)

**Boy-Who-Lived, Bookworm1234, Red-HeadWonder, Gin&Tonic and LittleD: Have entered the room.**

**Boy-Who-Lived: **Ron! How are you?  
**Red-HeadWonder: **Did somebody say Ron?

**Boy-Who-Lived: **Hey! What took you so long?  
**Bookworm1234:** Hello boys!

**Red-HeadWonder: **Ugh, who invited Boo Radley? Hey Herman.

**Bookworm1234:** It's Hermione!

**Gin&Tonic: **Don't worry Hermione, don't let the stupid boys make your day any worse.

**LittleD: **Wait, what? Who upset Granger? I'll get you Ron! Then she'll be all mine *aims wand at Ron*

**Red-HedWonder:** Hey, hey, hey! I didn't do anything! _Stupefy!_

**LittleD**: ...*blinks* What the hell?

**Bookworm1234:** Guys, stop it. What Ginny meant to say was... Well what happened was... Harry?

**Boy-Who-Lived:** Viktor Krum showed up with Fleur from Beauxbatons and Hermione's upset because he literally shoved her out of the way when he came into the Great Hall this morning.

**LittleD: **WHAT? Nobody shoves Granger and gets away with it!

**Gin&Tonic:** Got a crush, Malfoy?  
**Red-HeadWonder**: ...

**LittleD:** *blinks* No!

**Boy-Who-Lived: **I think you do! Admit it Malfoy, you like her!

**Werewolf has just signed in.**

**Boy-Who-Lived: **Lupin!

**Werewolf:** Hey Harry! Hey Ron, Ginny. Boo Radley.

**Bookworm1234:** UGH!

**Bookworm1234 has just signed out.**

**Werewolf: **What's her problem? Hey guys, check out this awesome language I just found out about. It's called, Chat speak! Check it, I've already learnt the basics!  
H33y mA H0m135! Ch3ck 0utt maa 4w35omee ritin' y34hh! xD

**Red-HeadWonder: **...

**LittleD: **What's up Weasley? Cat got your tongue?

**Red-HeadWonder: **No.

**Red-HeadWonder has just signed out.**

**Boy-Who-Lived: **Thanks Draco. That's just great.

**Gin&Tonic: **I'll go catch up with them.

**Gin&Tonic has just signed out.**

**...**

**YourMama, BigD, ButtTrumpet and PsychicT has just signed in.**

**Boy-Who-Lived:** Umbridge?  
**YourMama:** Potter?  
**ButtTrumpet:** Lupin?  
**BigD: **DUMBLEDOREEEE!

**Everyone:** o.0?


	2. Chapter 2

:: I do NOT own HP or any of the characters used here.

HP (C) J.K. Rowling :D

Probably not as funny as the first chapter but oh well...I just realised, half the words counted in the word count are these A/Ns and the names list telling you who is who xDDDDDD ::

Hogwarts: The Chatroom

Boy-Who-Lived Harry Potter, Bookworm1234 Hermione Granger, Red-HeadWonder Ron Weasley, Gin&Tonic Ginny Weasley, HeirOfSlytherin Tom Riddle, TheDarkLord Voldemort (A/N: I know he is Tom Riddle but deal with it, I wanna have them both in this, OK?), LittleD Draco Malfoy, BigD Dumbledore, YourMama Umbridge, PsychicT Sybill Trelawney, ButtTrumpet Severus Snape, Werewolf Remus Lupin, JamesPottersBestFriend Sirius Black, Wormtail Peter Pettigrew (duh), Squirrel Quirrel!

**Red-HeadWonder, Gin&Tonic, HeirOfSlytherin, Squirrel, Werewolf and Wormtail: Have just entered the room.**

Red-HeadWonder: Ginny? No, no, no, no, no! No kid sister's allowed! I came on here to get away from you!

Gin&Tonic: Rooooonnnnn!  
HeirOfSlytherin: Well, well, isn't this cute? It's like a little loser family except on line. Draco rules!

Werewolf: Draco, you little s***! Shut the f*** up or I will spank your diapered toosh! (A/N: Is that how you spell it?)

HeirOfSlytherin: You can't do that, you're a teacher! It's abuse! Merlin, I sounded just like Granger!

**HeirOfSlytherin has just signed off.**

Squirrel: Well... Who wants to go rollerblading? I hear they've got a kicking club down the road!  
Red-HeadWonder: Quirrel? I thought you were in Azkaban?  
Wormtail: QUIRREL! The dark lord will not be pleased should he know you were socializing with these...these...

Squirrel: Butterfaces?  
Wormtail: Y-Yes!

Red-HeadWonder: HEY! I resent that! *grabs virtual bag of Red Vines*

Werewolf: Don't worry Ron. They can't hurt you. The infamous Hogwarts jaguar wouldn't allow it.

Squirrel: Ok, seriously? Are you still blaming everything on that damned jaguar?

Gin&Tonic: 0.o Am I the only one confused here?

**YourMama has just signed on.**

YourMama: Hey chil'rens! Its your mama!

**Everyone except YourMama has just signed off. Even the chatroom has left.**

YourMama: Wha- Why you all being so mean to me? :'(

**YourMama has just signed off.**

**...**

**Gin&Tonic, Red-HeadWonder, Squirrel and Werewolf have just signed back in. Even the chatroom has returned.**

Red-HeadWonder: Has she gone?  
Squirrel: Ye-yeah. But not at all. You see. She may have left the chatroom but she has not left us alone. (A/N: The beginning of this quote is something like when Quirrel was explaining about the Triwizard tournament in A Very Potter Musical)

Gin&Tonic: Now I finally understand why you guys were all scared of her! She's a b**** and evidently Wormtail's a d***!

Red-HeadWonder: GINNY! HOW DARE YOU USE THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE! STUPID SISTER *virtual clap round the ear*

Gin&Tonic: *blinks* Um...ow?  
Werewolf: roflmao xDDDDD

Everyone else: e-o


	3. Chapter 3

:: I know, I know I'm sorry for not updating in ages, I've been extremely busy, I'm not a writer in any sense (actually more of an artist) and I haven't had any inspiration. Plus I have recently been obsessed with Glee *shameless plugging about* anyways, you guys know the drill. Own nothing but my ideas plus I just realised in the previous chapter I think I accidently made Draco the heir of slytherin instead of Tom... :S oh well ::

**Boy-Who-Lived** Harry Potter, **Bookworm1234** Hermione Granger, **Red-HeadWonder** Ron Weasley, **Gin&Tonic** Ginny Weasley, **HeirOfSlytherin** Tom Riddle, **TheDarkLord Voldemort** (A/N: I know he is Tom Riddle but deal with it, I wanna have them both in this, OK?), **LittleD** Draco Malfoy, **BigD** Dumbledore, **YourMama** Umbridge, **PsychicT** Sybill Trelawney, **ButtTrumpet** Severus Snape, **Werewolf** Remus Lupin, **JamesPottersBestFriend** Sirius Black, **Wormtail** Peter Pettigrew (duh), **Squirrel** Quirrel

**PsychicT, Werewolf, and the rest of the Hogwarts staff, have logged on**.

**Squirrel:** hey, voldie? Voldie? Voldie-poooooo-

**TheDarkLord:** what? What? What? Can't I have ten minutes of peace before you come bursting in?

**Squirrel:** you had an hour...

**Everyone:** ooohhhh

**PsychicT:** yes, I saw this coming, it was writ-

**YourMama:** Umbridge SMASH!

**Everyone:** o_O

**YourMama:** Now, according to educational decree number 56984258, you have to take this knife, place it upright on a chair and sit on it CRAZY!

**BigD:** Come now, Dolores, I'm sure there is a secret swimming pool somewhere for you to calm down in.

**YourMama:** Ooooh, where's that?

**Werewolf:** on cloud nine baby *sigh* he's tried that with all of us, haven't you Dumbledear?

**ButtTrumpet:** Siriusly Lupin, surely you didn't have to bring that up! This is worse than the time I admitted to Potter in a drunken haze that I wanted to... Nevermind...

**JamesPottersBestFriend:** Oh do tell, Snivellus, after all, there will always be guys like James ready to punch that abnormally large nose of yours if you don't stay out of other people's business.

**ButtTrumpet:** Black? But- How? You were- and now you- and- urgh! Dementors! I order you to kiss Sirius Black!

***crickets chirping...even the chatroom has left***

**JamesPottersBestFriend:** and that was supposed to do what, exactly?

**ButtTrumpet:** I have no idea what you are talking about.

**JamesPottersBestFriend:** yes you do because you always have been, and always will be... A BUTT TRUMPET!

**BigD:** that's absurd!

**PsychicT:** you're absurd!

**ButtTrumpet:** you're all absuuuuurd! Because_ because it's true. When I was younger, I had a trumpeting butt. It used to go *toot**toot* and she picked him over me!

**Boy-Who-Lived has just signed in.**

**Boy-Who-Lived:** Soooo, what the devil is going on heeeeeere?

**ButtTrumpet has just signed out.**

**Boy-Who-Lived:** what did I say?

:: no points if you can get all the reference to avpm/s or harry potter, only virtual hugs and cookies. Anyway, don't expect an update at any point soon xD ::


End file.
